On the eve of National Grief Awareness Day, Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., is shedding light on why some individuals remain stuck in grief long after a loss. Her insights come as her book, "Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck," was recently named the 2026 Silver Medal Winner for Grief Books by the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR).
According to Dr. Swack, unresolved trauma can keep people trapped in grief by making it difficult to access joyful memories of the deceased. Instead, every reminder of the loved one can automatically trigger the pain of the moment they died or left. This occurs because during a traumatic loss, the body's fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything associated with that event, causing people to repeatedly relive the shock.
Healing begins by calming this trauma response so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present. Dr. Swack shares five first steps toward healing:
1. Separate the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving individuals fear that letting go of the trauma will sever their connection to the deceased. Dr. Swack asserts the opposite: trauma can become fused with memories, making every remembrance painful. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without losing the relationship.
2. Identify the "hidden layers" beneath your grief. Grief is rarely just sadness. Dr. Swack's research indicates that loss trauma often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and helplessness.
3. Listen for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss can leave unconscious conclusions such as "It's my fault," "People always leave me," or "I'm powerless." These beliefs can affect relationships, work, and self-confidence long after the loss, but awareness is a crucial step toward healing.
4. Pay attention to the feeling of emptiness. A deep sense of emptiness or a "hole" in the chest or stomach is a hallmark of unresolved loss trauma. People often try to fill this void with work, food, relationships, or compulsive behaviors. Recognizing that the emptiness is part of the trauma response can guide healthier healing.
5. Recognize that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or "moving on." A major barrier to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. Resolving the trauma surrounding a loss doesn't erase the relationship; instead, it allows individuals to stop reliving the worst moment and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before.
"Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person," Dr. Swack explains.
Dr. Swack's methodology, Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™), is a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels. She will present a "Clear Trauma Now Live Healing" webinar on Thursday evenings in September, offering real-time trauma healing. For details, visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience.
